December 29, 1975 – July 25, 2010
Kathy passed away early this morning in the hospice facility where she has spent the last week of her life. Kelly (our older sister) and I were by her side and she was at peace.
Since arriving at the hospice facility on Monday, Kathy had experienced several lucid days in the middle of the week. During this time, she told jokes, frequently rolled her eyes in sarcasm at our attempts at humor, and visited briefly with her daughter. She shared several of her favorite memories and consistently thanked our family and the hospice staff for everything that was being done for her to ensure her comfort. On several occasions, she noted that she “liked it” at the facility and that it was a “nice place to be”. By Thursday afternoon, she was comfortable but no longer responsive. At the time of her passing, she was not in any pain and appeared peaceful.
Kathy was, first and foremost, a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. She took each and every one of her roles in life seriously, although always with a sense of humor and goodness, and was an exceptional human being in every way. She and I once had a conversation in which we tried to characterize ourselves (based on what those who knew us would say) with only one word. The word that we finally chose for her was “good.” She thought the descriptor was boring…but I thought that it said it all. She was not only good at all of the roles and tasks on which she set her sights, but she was also a good-hearted person. She had an amazing spirit and always strived to ensure that everyone else was happy, comfortable, and content in her presence. This was the way she lived her life and, I believe, this is the way that she should forever be remembered.
For anyone who would like to join us in celebrating Kathy’s life, a service will be held at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, July 28, 2010, at the Chapel of Hall-Wynne Funeral Service (1113 W. Main St. in Durham). Friends are welcome to visit the family prior to the service (at the Chapel) from 5:30-7:00 p.m.
On Thursday, right before falling into her deepest and final sleep, Kathy told me that she did not want flowers…instead, she wanted people to make donations to an organization that focused on improving the lives of children with cancer. Therefore, should you be interested in memorializing Kathy’s loving spirit and the “goodness” that made her the special person that she was to all of us, please feel free to make a donation, in Kathy’s memory, to Specialove for Children with Cancer at www.specialove.org.
Thank you all for supporting Kathy throughout her fight and for following her journey to the end. She will never be forgotten and will continue to inspire us all with our own special memories and moments that we were fortunate enough to have shared with her.
With love,
Corey
I am so sorry for your loss. Even though I never met her in real life I know she was a wonderful mother and woman. May she rest in peace and may God be with you all through this difficult time
To the Herd and Phillip families,
I am happy to have known Kathy:-) A long ago friend, whom I reconnected with. I am a night owl and she was pregnant! It was nice to talk again to someone I hadn’t spoken with in years! It feels so strange that someone can be there one day, and the next day gone…(tears)
Kathy, was truly a sweet soul and it is so saddening that she is no longer here. She lives on through Alison and all of you, her family. Again, I am so sorry for your loss,I will miss Kathy:-(
Our condolences,
Shannon Cady-Grady & Tim Grady
You will be missed. You were a precious, precious person.
We’ll all see you in the blink of an eye.
I am truly heartbroken over this news!! I will miss Kathy’s good nature. She was an amazing woman and has been such an inspiration to me. I will always keep her in my thoughts. I am going to miss her alot!!
I am not surprised at Kathy’s request for donations to others rather than flowers. She was beautiful inside and out and I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God will grant you peace as you deal with your grief.
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Kathy seemed like a such spirited, loving woman. I sit here with tears in my eyes knowing she is going to be missed by so many people. There is now a new angel in heaven.
I am truly saddened to hear of Kathy’s passing. She was such a courageous young lady and fought so hard to overcome her cancer. She is amongst the Angels in heaven now and is looking down on her loving daughter, husband, Mom, Dad and sisters and all of her other loved ones. May God Bless you all at this most difficult time and know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers. May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.
I have the biggest knot in my throat. Tony and Kathy are both beautiful people. I kept checking back here and was really hopeful since there was not this devastating news in the last week.
My prayers are with the families in this hard time.
I am so sorry she is gone from this world. She was such a valiant person. Her courage since her diagnosis has been so helpful to me. She included us all in her ordeal and battle with such grace, bravery and incredible talent with words so that we were there with her, feeling her pain, her anger, her joy, her humor, her love, her friendship, her love of life and family, and her fear of death and loss. She brought all of us into her heart with her blog and her frank open reports. She was amazing and I beleive my shock and grief upon hearing of her death this evening was made easier because she prepared us with her gift of openness. She helped us all. I will continue to think of Kathy and her goodness and I will continue to work on her fence until I finish. My husband Bill and myself send our condolences.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that Kathy has been an inspiration to her many friends and will be missed.
I am so sorry for the loss of kathy she was such a wonderful inspiration and a great mother and wife. I will always keep her, tony, sweet alicat and the rest of the herd and phillips families in my thoughts and prayers!
Kathy and I never met in person, but connected through a baby website and did video chats and online chatting regularly until she became ill. She touched lives all over the US with her sweet soul, unselfishness and good humored spirit. I’m going to miss her like crazy. My deepest sympathy to Tony, Alison, Corey (thank you so so much for keeping us informed), and the rest of the family. She was just too good to stay here on earth and I can not wait to meet her someday on the other side.
With love,
Kayleen
Chicago, IL
Words cannot express what Kathleen Herd Phillips did for this world and the lives she touched in her short life. She was truly one of God’s greatest works of art and he did break the mold when he made her. She showed so much grace and strength through her battle with cancer and showed us how we should live everyday the way she did and not take a moment for granted.
I only knew Kathy for 2 years but we bonded instantly with our pregnancies and births of our children and I have cherished her friendship. I will never forget her beautiful soul, amazing smile, infectious laugh, and taste for life. I am so sad to lose my friend but so grateful to have known her.
To Tony, Alison, Ed, Carol, Kelly, and Corey-
I am so sorry for the loss of such a treasure. I am glad God loaned one of his angels to you even for a short time. She was an amazing person and you all are such a wonderful family. When I met you all for the first time I could feel the love you have for one another. There is an unbreakable bond you have and that continues from earth to glorious heaven above. I pray God heals your broken hearts. Please know Chris and I are always here to help in any way we can.
To Kathy-
Goodbye for now my friend. I look forward to sipping wine, eating pizza and giggling with you again someday in heaven.
No matter what Tony says, I will see to it Alison marries Neil just like we always planned!! I love you and will cherish the memories. I will miss my “foxy”(fire) mama!
With a heavy heart,
Megan
I am beyond heartbroken. Kathleen was a wonderful person, always so fun and optimistic. I had an honor and pleasure capturing her pregnancy and Allison’s newborn pictures. Just couple months ago I found out she never got her images from the main photographer, and now I feel like there was some higher powers not letting me delete those images from my computer, something was telling me to keep them even though I wanted to delete them a few times. I am so glad I got to give them to Kathleen – she was beyond excited to receive them, and I know they will be always treasured by Tony and Allison as a wonderful memory.
It was so much fun seeing you, Kathleen, over Memorial Day weekend. You were so live and vibrant and fun. You will be missed. I have been thinking about you every single day since your diagnosis. You will always be in my heart.
I am so sad to hear of your loss. I ‘met’ Kathleen through a photography website. I heard her talk about her pregnancy, her love for her husband, and her passion for life. We have been praying for her since she was diagnosed. She will truly be missed. I am so sorry for your loss…
I am so sad to lose such an old friend – someone I met in nursery school. Most of all, however, I am hurting for your whole family – I wish that there were something I could to to help ease the pain you must be feeling. I hope you all find peace in such a difficult time.
Much love, Venice
I keep coming back to check here as I feel it was the closest connection I had with Kathy since I moved. I suppose I’m holding on to that.
I’m praying for all of Kathy’s family and friends. I can’t even begin to fathom what you are going through. Life ended way too soon for her. I pray that the grief gets just a little less every day and that the memories of what a wonderful person Kathy was get a little stronger every day.
“The time of my departure is at hand….I have fought the good fight, I have finished my race, I have kept the faith”(2 Timothy 4:6-7) ….Rest In Peace Kathy
I’m truly saddened by your loss. I was lucky enough to get to see her smile, watching our kids play together at daycare. Jonathan loves your daughter, and Kathy played a huge part in how wonderful a child she is.
Hi Corey,
My heart breaks for all of you. I will continue to pray for you, your sister, your parents and of course little Allison & Tony.
I liked your story about coming up with “good” as a descriptor for her. I was listening to the “Wicked” play soundtrack, which if anyone haven’t seen it is essentially the story of friendship between the “wicked” witch and the “good witch”. There is a song with the line: “I can’t say if I’ve been changed for the better, but I have been changed for GOOD”. I was thinking of Kathy while driving, and when I heard this song, I started crying in the car. Kathy truly touched everyone’s life who had the blessing of knowing her. I will never forget that big beautiful smile.
Love & prayers,
Kelly
I don’t really even know what to say – we are all so sad and devastated for you, for your family, for her family. Please know there is so much love and prayers for comfort surrounding you all. xoxo
I am so sorry to hear of kathy’s passing. I have not talked with her in a long time, but remember all the church days with her!!! She was an amazing person!!!
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Amy (Leddy) Terry
For anyone who had the pleasure and privilege to spend time with Kathy would agree that her heart was bigger than life itself. As one of three sisters, her love for family and friends was selfless and unparalleled, always placing the needs and happiness of others before her own. Trying to express what Kathy brought to all of us is nearly impossible, so tonight I draw inspiration from another; Anne Bronte, one of the three Bronte sisters — words that only sisters can express for another sister.
A REMINISCENCE
Yes, thou art gone and never more
Thy sunny smile shall gladden me;
But I may pass the old church door,
And pace the floor that covers thee,
May stand upon the cold, damp stone,
And think that, frozen, lies below
The lightest heart that I have known,
The kindest I shall ever know.
Yet, though I cannot see thee more,
‘Tis still a comfort to have seen;
And though thy transient life is o’er,
‘Tis sweet to think that thou hast been;
To think a soul so near divine,
Within a form so angel fair,
United to a heart like thine,
Has gladdened once our humble sphere.
With Sincere Sympathy, The Clemente/Lauria Family
Ed, Carol, Corey, Kelly, Tony & Alison – Please accept our sincere sympathy for the loss of Kathy. We hadn’t seen her in years, but from reading her blog, it’s very easy to see that she had grown into a wonderful wife and mom, and a great person who was admired by many. It sounds like she was a fighter with a zest for life. Hug that little girl, and let her know just how special her mom was. She is now an angel looking down on all of you…and watching over you.
With very heavy hearts,
Jeff and Kathy Andrews
To Corey, Kelly & the entire Herd and Phillips family,
I’m so incredibly saddened to hear of Kathy’s passing. I wish all of you peace and healing through this extremely difficult time.
Thank you so much for sharing Kathy’s incredible journey through this blog. Her strength and courage shown is truly inspirational and is a humbling reminder of how precious our life is and how thankful we should be for our gift.
Peace and prayers,
Sandi (Johnson) Juliano
Although I did not know Kathy, I have known her sister, Corey, for many years. Corey has been a remarkable stronghold and fortress for Kathy, Tony, Aggie, and her entire family during Kathy’s illness. I am very confident that Kathy and Corey shared their amazing qualities of courage, strength and sense of humor. I pray that you are all surrounding my family, friends, and love during this most difficult time. You remain in my prayers. Blessings~Cori Hill
I am deeply sadened to hear of Kathy’s passing. My heart is breaking, but I know that she will live in through Alison. She was an amazing person with the kindest heart I’d ever known. She will be deeply missed.
Corey,
We have never met, but my wife Jacey is Tony’s cousin. Kathy was such a beautiful person. “Good” is exactly the word I used to describe her today. But it is a word that is anything but trite, because I reserve it for people who live their lives as Kathy did…with zeal, love for others, a natural way of being that was comfortable, genuine, and real. She was so much more than that. Kathy will always hold a special place in our hearts because she was the photographer at our wedding, as well as an honored guest with Tony! I will always treasure the memories of her stalking the proceedings with her camera, trying so hard to be unobtrusive while capturing some amazing pictures. I and Jacey loved Kathy and will miss her but never forget her. Our hearts are breaking for you and her family, and for Tony and Allison and the rest of the Phillips, who I know also loved her dearly. The world is a much less beautiful place today because of our loss of Kathy. I know it is much harder for you and I want you to know we care deeply for your pain and will be there for you and Tony and Allison in whatever capacity you need. Please reach out if there is something we can offer, aside from our deepest sympathy and shared grief.
David
I am so sorry about Kathy. She was a special person that I feel fortunate to have known since 5th grade. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone. I wish I could attend the services but a little far from CT. I am happy that Kathy is at peace now.
I am sorry to hear about your loss Corey. For you to continue to give us updates during this time is something we all appreciate. I knew your sister during our school years and only recently reconnected with her but I do remember her kindness. Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you and all of Kathy’s families.
Ray Doan
I knew Kathy growing up and in our theater days in High School. I am very sad to hear this news today, and even more sad for your loss. God’s peace to you during this difficult time.
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for the beautiful words that you have spoken about Kathy. She will be remembered fondly by many people. Take care.
thoughts and prayers are with you all. What a wonderful description of your sister. I have no words.
You were an awesome person and patient trainer. You will be missed. My thoughts now go with your family, as they struggle to get through this.
Just thinking of you today friend… I was writing thankyou notes from Dylan’s shower gifts and remembered how long it took us to get together after I had him. I miss you more than you know. Love always~~J
I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who comes back here to read and post.
I don’t even have words. I wish I could have seen you one last time. I think about you a lot. I also think about Tony and little Alison every single day and wonder how they are doing.
I heard something the other day that was so comforting for people who have lost loved ones so I thought I’d share here for anyone else who comes back to read.
It was in a card that was sent to Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman after the passing of their daughter Maria. Inside it simply said:
“Maria is so much more a part of your future than she ever was your past.” If we just put our loved one’s name in the place where Maria’s is…
The awesomeness of forever with friends and family keeps me going. No pain, no tears, in a perfect place…you’re there. We’ll be there soon.
Cory,
Would you send me Tony’s address? I have a card that I would like to send him. This is Melissa Daniel- Kathy’s old roommate and friend. My email address is melissadaniel@gmail.com
I hope you are doing well, and I am still praying for comfort for you and your family.
Peace,
Melissa
I talked to your sister today.. It was nice to chat with her.. Just thinking about your little one’s upcoming 2nd birthday. I know you will be looking down from heaven and smiling while she opens all her presents… we miss you more than you know my friend.. love always.. Jamie
Cory,
The SPC girls have a gift for Allison, but I have no way of getting it to Tony. Could you please contact me and let me know where I could send it? It was suppose to be a Christmas gift, but no one had his address and I have been searching ever since.
Missing you today, Kathy.
Thinking about you today.
Thinking of the Phillip’s family as the passing of Kathy’s anniversary is near. I will always be thankful for her compassion and gentle spirit as she helped me through one of the toughest times of my life. I wish I could see your beautiful face on iChat again.
xoxo
Rest in Peace Kathy.
It’s been a year and I miss you more than you will ever know my friend. I am trying to keep contact with everyone. You were the glue that held us all together! Miss you dear! XOXOXOXOXOXO Jamie